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Song in my head:
"Mushroom, mushroom, mushroom, mushroom, MUSHROOM, mushroom, mushroom,
I see aaaaaaaaaa snaaaake........ohhhhhhhh, it's snaaaaaaake..."
- Dancing Badgers! -
palmolive@___ writes,
I saw the Passion of Christ for Easter, and I agree with Stephen's last commentary.
WE MUST ALL TRY TO KEEP THE PASSION ALIVE!!!
However, I'm confushed? Where does the Easter Bunny come in? I didn't see anything about him in the movie?
Soapy,
I'm glad you asked.
Not because I want to promote Mel Gibson's movie, but because I already explained how the Easter Bunny is tied
to Christ and Easter a couple of years ago. This means I have a bon-a-fide reason to post a re-run!
Most people think that the Easter holiday came from the Solar Solstice, whatever that is. But I got together with
Pastor Bishop who preaches at the Good Morning Star Baptist Church
of Sacred Sacraments, in Christ and he commenced to tellin' me
how Easter was actually nothing but a typographical error.
He explained that long, long ago...before Christians, when there were only Catholics, they told a special story
of Easter that since, has been stricken from the Catholic Bible.
A loooooong time ago, back in the prehistoric days, a bunch of Horshak's got their panties all ruffled up because
the Jesus wuz walkin around all proud and high-and-mighty-like. Now this Jesus feller was real clever, like a fox.
Each time a high-priest or priestess tried to get him tongue tied with the Old Testimony Bible, he turned their
words around right back at them. Then they would get all red in the face.
A lot of them angry fellers had a big town meeting with lentles, crackers, and wine for a snack. At first they
agreed to steal his land and claim it was historically theirs. They then agreed to kill any distant relative who
set foot on that land, be he an Egyptian, a Palistinean, or even a Roman. But then they found out he didn't have
no land so they decided to go ahead an kill him instead.
Some of them folks drank too much of that wine and decided to go after him right then and there. Soon a lynch mob
was formed and they beat him and nailed him on a cross. Once he was dead, and various painters had sketched his
portrait, the dumped him in a cave and blocked it with a big rock.
Now all this didn't go over too well with the living God. In fact, it burned him up. So he decided to go ahead
and give the Jesus the breath of life one more time. When the Jesus woke up, God told him that his new mission,
should he decide to accept it, would be to go teach them ornery folks a lesson.
There's just one problem, the Jesus, is stuck in a cave with no way out. So he asks God to get him out.
God says, " Oh, for your sake...I just brought you back to life...Figure a way out yourself."
The Jesus says, "Awwww-shucks!" kicks the dirt and sits down to think. Just then a little rabbit pokes
his head down from the roof and looks at the Jesus.
"Hi! My name is Ester! Why so glum, bloke." she says.
"I'm afraid I'm in a tight spot right," the Jesus replies. "I can't figure a way out of this hole!"
The Jesus points to the blocked entrance.
"No problem, I'll dig a hole extra wide and you can crawl out. Since your the Jesus, just give me a blessing
on my head and we'll call it even."
So the Jesus blesses Ester, and the rabbit gets to diggin'. The Jesus climbs out of the Cave and shakes the rabbits
hand.
Just then, he's see's a bunch of folks comin' his way! He figures, once they see him, they'll kill him all over
again. Thinking fast, he grabs Ester by the feet, and twirls her 'round and 'round and round, and throws her far
above the crowds head's. Then he says a special, hoo-doo prayer and makes that Rabbit lay 100 hard boiled eggs,
which proceeds to drop on the coming crowd.
Since Ester was so high above them, when them eggs landed, they landed hard. Soon heads were cracking open everywhere.
Blood and brains started splattering about, and a lot of the mess gets stuck right on them hard boiled eggs, which
made them look somewhat decorative.
Since these were magic hard boiled eggs, they didn't break. When they landed, they just bounced off into all sorts
of places.
Ester floats down and lands on Jesus' shoulders and they go off into town.
To make a long story short, the Jesus see's that the town-folk ain't got enough eats. So he figured it would be
a lot of fun if the young-uns get together and make a game out of finding them special colored eggs.
So they did. And that was the world's first Ester Egg Hunt. Later, the proper name of the event got distorted
from various translations and it became Easter.
And now you know!
Coming Next: How
to protect yourself from harmful bacteria!
Ask Bob a Question!
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