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Song in my head:
"When she walks downtown, she walks like she don't care,
when she walks downtown, the boys all stop and stare..."
- Nick Guilder -
Yes, yes. That sorry song from the 70's, "Hot Child in the City" got stuck in my head. We have a new
"RETRO" radio station in Omaha and thanks to them, it's stuck in my head.
What kind of song is this anyway? Nick glamorizes being a runnaway teen and living on the streets like it's exotic
and sexy. But what it really amounts too, is a very young female performing oral sex to drunk, fat, businessmen
in rat infested alleys.
I wonder how many 40 year old crack whores started by being tantilized by Mr. Guilder's enticing song, only find
a life of drug abuse and misery.
That Mr. Guilder needs to pay! I don't think he needs to go to jail, but he should be forced to perform oral sex
to drunk, fat, businessmen in rat infested alleys. Then the proceeds would go to a rehabilitation program for
crack hoes who started off as a teen with a transistor radio.
The Rickster from Maine writes:
Dear Bob,
You poor illiterate bastard. Last week you wrote, "As a result, If Osama would benefit if Bush..."
This makes no sense, you should proof read you shit...stupid!
Dear Rickster,
Actually, before I answer your question, I would like to mention that I've decided to insert the work "actually"
into as many sentences as possible. This will actually make me sound smarter and actually make others think that
I actually know what I'm talking about.
Now for your actual answer. Did you actually think I was going to answer a question from someone who calls himself,
"Rickster?" Screw you "Rickster," your email is not worthy of answering because of your silly
name. And that's not the Crack talkin'. It's more the beer, actually.
Actually, this gets old really fast and I'm going to actually stop doing this, actually.
For no particular reason, I decided to post a short story sent a couple of years ago. The author did not give
his/her name.
Bone Soup
by ?
"Oh, look at that bone!", yelled the old woman, looking out
her window. "Perfect for a nice bowl of bone soup."
The old woman walked out the door to her yard, picked up the bone and brought it into her house, it was much too
late for her to make her soup at the time, so she decided to make it the next day for lunch. While she was in
bed, almost asleep, she heard a voice coming from outside, she opened her window to find the voice was saying,
"Give me back my bone, give me back my bone!"
The old lady thought nothing of it and just went back to bed. The next day she walked into her kitchen to make
her bone soup when she heard once again, "Give me back my bone, give me back my bone!"
And again she ignored it and continued perparing her bone soup. Then, finally, she had finished cooking her soup
and had sat down to eat it when she heard the voice again, only louder, "Give me back my bone, give me back
my bone!"
The old lady then picked up her bowl of bone soup and flung it out the window saying, "Here, take it!"
And now you actually know!
COMING NEXT:
But I don't feel strong enough to carry those big rocks.
Ask Bob a Question!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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