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Angevine writes:
Why do cartoon animated figures only have three fingers? Is this a cartoon law?
Do animators believe that it is necessary to distort figures so that viewers don't believe the figure is actually
real?
Dear Angevine,
When I first read your question I was quite puzzled!
Three fingers? I looked down as I was writing this and at first I saw five fingers. Then for no reason at all,
I took my jiffy-pop popcorn (I'm too cheap to buy a microwave) and put it on my head and concentrated on my hand.
Gradually as I typed, I saw my two middle fingers slowly fade from view and I realized that althought I saw five
fingers, I actually only had three.
The animators see the world the way it really is, because they are artists. It is us, who are confused.
For the rest of the day, keeping the jiffy-pop on my head, I really concentrated on the hands of everyone I came
across, my wife, baby gurl, the lady at the check-out counter, where I buy my beer. Sure enough they seemed to
have five fingers, but as I focused more and more, the two middle fingers fadded from view.
This was all verified when I watched television...if you watch closely, everyone's two middle fingers fade away.
The world, in fact, consists of people with three fingers. Not five. As I was flipping through channels, I noticed
this was always the fact...until...until I reached the "Style Network." They had models walking down
the isle parading the latest style.
Each one was very skinny, with a big bullum head...and
five fingers! No matter how much I focused...five fingers. I didn't think much of it, til' I chanced upon a re-run
of Moisha's show. Once again, bullum head and five fingers. Then it all clicked.
Moisha, is 6 feet tall, weighs about 70 lbs, a big bullum head, big almond eyes and hands with five long whippin'
fingers. Then I looked at picture of Naomi Campbell, and then Jennifer Love Hewit...same features!
Recall a few years ago my report on bullum heads.
Now think about the aliens from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind." Tall, skinny, big almond eyes,
and yes...five fingers!
The conclusion was simple once my eyes were opened. Aliens are not attacking us with space ships, they are not
taking over human bodies...they are infiltrating our media. Getting us used to thier bizarre forms and long whippin'
fingers, so in the future, when they stop by to visit, we think they look normal. Or better yet, we think they
look glamorous!
Just what we need glamorous aliens.
That's why they started "Star Trek," to get us used to the idea of aliens (Phase I), now (Phase II),
they are getting us used to their apperance.
Furthermore, I'm quite sure, that the north star is not a star at all...it's an alien satellite far above the earth.
That's why the Jiffy-pop worked to open my eyes. The foil used to make the delicious treat blocked the alien
ray that is sent to Earth and convince our minds that we all have five fingers...just like the aliens.
Well it won't work Mr. Spock! Slap that foil on your head and see the world for what it really is...do it...do
it now!!!
And now you know!
COMING NEXT:
Rock hard in a funky place!
Ask Bob a Question!
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