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Spacey@_____ writes:
Dear Bob, I am a Taurus. And I trying to loose a few pounds. I've spent thousands of dollars and still no results!
CAN YOU HELP?!
P.S. I love bacon!!!
Dear Freaky:
Sounds like you got some kind of problem, just do what I do.
A few years ago I decided I wanted to loose some weight. I looked at the different options. Exercise, diets, and
drugs. Since I'm lazy and I love to eat, I knew the first two would never work for me. Secondly, I have a personal
rule to never take drugs unless they are gonna get me nice and stoned. So the third option was out of the question.
Now I got no more options left.
So I had to make my own.
Since I also love bacon, I decided to combine pleasure with my weight loss program. I'll take you through it step
by step:
1. Cook some bacon. Don't cook it all the way, keep it nice and chewy with just a hint of pink.
2. Pour off the bacon fat and put it in a mixing bowl. Allow to cool until room temperature.
3. Add about 4 cups of powdered sugar and two tablespoons of butter (for flavor) to the bacon fat and mix with
a hand held blender, adding a touch of warm water as needed until the mixture is brown and fluffy. This is what
I call bacon frosting.
4. Make a couple of pancakes (if you don't know how, buy a mix or buy a cookbook).
5. Cover the first pancake with the bacon frosting, then cover with 1/2 the package of pink-ly cooked bacon.
6. Add the other pancake and cover it with the bacon frosting.
Add syrup to taste.
And there you have it, a delicious pancake, bacon-frosting, cake. Just the thing to start your day!
Right about now you may be wondering where the diet comes in. Simple, the raw bacon give you a good dose of Clostridium
botulinum, commonly known as a "bug". Now this little critter will make you so sick you don't want to
eat, which causes you to loose a good chunk of weight. The combo of the bug and the grease will give you a fantastic
case of the weight-loss -willies that will make the pounds just melt away!
The only draw-back is some folks that get the bug, have a tendancy to die. But some live!!! If your one of the
lucky ones, you get to enjoy a "breakfast to die for," and you loose the weight.
And now you know!
COMING NEXT:
Jesus, it full of Cheeses!
Ask Bob a Question!
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