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Ask Bob!
Song in my head: "...By the time they are ready to love him, Senior Blues has gone away..." - Taj Mahal - This is continued from last week. So I head home from Jerome's and start thinkin', how I'm gonna market my new diet product. Guaranteed to loose 14 lbs in 14 days! That's what I'll say! One sip...no diet...and in 14 days your 14 lbs lighter or your money back (unless you die). I figured I'd go ahead and put an ad in the "Thrifty Nickel" newspaper and the calls for the diet would come pouring in. As soon as I got home I called the paper and placed the ad! MIRACLE WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM!!! LOOSE 14 lbs in 14 days!!! NO DIETING REQUIRED!!!! CALL TODAY - (402) xxx-xxxx For those who missed last weeks program...I had been very sick and the illness caused me to loose a great deal of weight. Lucky for me, I'm a slob and I chew tobacco. This means I got many cups filled with "chew" that I spat into, when I was sick. Since I'm such a pig, I've never cleaned...so the cups still got the big money making sickly chew. I figure all I got to do is put a few drops of chew into some agar (flavorless jello), and let the flu germs chew on the sugar. Then I make some kool-aid and put a spoon of the "chew-flu" into it. Then I pour it into a baby jar (I got thousands of them, on account that the baby gurl is a year and a half now, and I never throw nuthing away. My garage if full of them baby food jars.). Soon people will be coughing their guts out in dieting madness!!! I'm all set up...then it happens...I get the first call! "Is this the dieting company!" "HOT DAMN, we sure is...is you fat! I mean overweightlessness?" "Uuuhhhm, yeah. I guess you could say that." "You come to the right place! We'll set you up and you'll loose them pounds in no time! HOT DAMN!!!" "How does it work?" he asks. "You just drink this formula I made and..." "Is it FDA approved?" he interrupts. "Sure, all you do is....all you do is...F.D. who?" "FDA...is it approved for consumption in the US...is it safe?" "Sure is!!! Safe as a virgin in the Army!!! I took it myself, it's sooo safe!" "So it's not FDA approved?" the caller asks again. "Well not really, but if you tell me about this F.D.A. thing, I'm sure I can..." At that the caller hung up. So now I gots to get FDA approved...but it's ok, I got a plan. To stick it to the man. And now you know! COMING NEXT: I test my new product! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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