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Ask Bob!
Song in my head: "...I'll cover myself with the mud and the earth. I'll cover myself, I know I'm not brave, the earth, the earth, the earth, is my grave..." - Don Mclean - Hey I might have gotten Don's last name wrong and I'm too lazy to go through my long playing records to look it up...that's just something we'll both have to live with. I'M NOT SICK ANYMORE. I've been irritable for the last month because I've been sick with one cold or flu after another. I know your not interested, but I'll tell you about it anyway. Baby gurl, who is now 15 months old, gets a runny nose cold with a bad cough. We take her to the doctor and she gets anti-biotics. I don't go to the doctor, cause my wife says it'll be a waste of money. Like food. I don't get a plate served for me...that would be a waste. I gotta hang out by the baby's high-chair and eat what she throws on the floor. A penny saved, a penny earned. Actually now that I think about it, it was my idea to eat off the floor...but still, a penny saved... So after two weeks of coughing so much I pulled a chest muscle, I decide to spend the $10 to see the doctor. Turns out I got allergies. Now that I think about it, my nose has been stuffed up every spring and fall for the last 30 years, but I never thought much about it. So when I get a cold, in the fall or spring, I get a sinus infection - cause I'm all blocked up, and that leads to the never ending cold. Right about now your probably wondering, "Why the hell is he telling me all this?" Well I don't rightly know, but what's done is done. The doctor gave me a sinus steroid called "Rhinocort," so I got to thinking... If I gots the runny nose all the time, and I'm takin' steroids for my nose. Soon I'll have super-powerful sinus muscles. I could hold one nostril shut and shoot a loogy about 100 yards and knock over a tree. So I've been shooting this steroid up my nose like there is no tomorrow. Soon I will have the most powerful sinuses in the land and I will only use my newfound powers for good. I will call myself...SINUS BOY! Since my good friend Jerome is a very sickly person, I figure he'll be the front man. We'll call him...CHRONIC COLD! Although I think Jerome is sick all the time because he's a crack head, but no matter. If the bad guys try to get revenge, they'll concentrate on the main guy, the front man...CHRONIC COLD. And I'll be nice and safe as his harmless side kick. So I called Jerome to tell him the good news, but for once in his life he wasn't sick. But that's ok, because I planned ahead. When I was real sick I spit into an old Cola can. So I got a lot of germs growin' in there. I put a spoon of sugar in the can to make sure the germs got something to eat. I took about three drops of my "flu mix" and put it in a new soda and paid Jerome a visit...soon we'll be a sickly team fighting in the name of truth, justice and the American way! And now you know! COMING NEXT: Look out evil-doers, Chronic Cold and Sinus Boy are on your tail!!! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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