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Ask Bob!
Song in my head: "...her clothes are old, but never hardly dirty. Living just enough, just enough, for the city..." - The Amazing little Stevie Wonder - boy genius - If you are one of the six people that read this column, then your probably wondering what happened the last couple of weeks. Well, we've been with our web host for so long (since the internet started), that the server TheWeirdcrap.com is loaded on, started to become obsolete. That's what I was told, but I'm sure it was the efforts of that dim-witted religious-right's patriot act trying to silence free speech. I think George Bush and his minions of anti-justice infected our host's server with a virus, in order to silence us. In fact, I have conducted personal reasearch in the "So Big" worm, and I have come to the conclusion that it was started by the Federal Government. They infected computers with instructions to load information from PCs, to their gub-ment data-base, via the worm. This way they can violate your privacy, without anyone knowing it. Or maybe not. Either way, we had to move to a new server within the same company, which was a pain in the ass. The transition was less than smooth and thousands of people ended up not being able to use their email for several weeks. But it's ok now! So go shout it on a mountain that freedom for the masses has been restored! Despite the current government's attempt to silence free speech, TheWeirdcrap.com is back challanging government with the most powerful weapon known to mankind...common sense. Which brings me to the single email I managed to recieve in the last two weeks. crice@____ asks, Bob, I like your column, but don't you get a little carried away sometimes? PS Why do you hate Bush so much? Dear crice@____, I don't hate George Bush. In fact, back in 2000, if I had no other choices available...I actually would have voted for him. Mr. Bush is not an evil man...he's just a very, Very, VERY, VERY stupid man - who's doing the best that he can. I must admit, the reasons I was hoping he would do well is selfish. George Bush, like myself, suffers from a slight speech impediment. All my life I have been mistaken for an idiot because it takes me a long time to form words; however, if I write, I can communicate quit nicely. I noticed this right away with Bush, and I though it would be good for people who share our handicap, to have a representative who has trouble making sense when speaking, but who's actions show that he knows what he is doing. So aside from taking a surplus budget and making it a deficit in record time, aside from initially ignoring the Middle East, which intensified tensions against the US, which put us all in immediate danger, aside from using childish name calling to identify the "axis of evil," which pissed off even more nations, and put us all in more immediate danger, aside from after watching "The Sum of All Fears," starring Ben Afflic, and becoming convinced that terrorists were going to buy nuclear bombs from Iraq, and drop one on a US city, and; as a result, started accusing Iraq of having a nuclear program, aside from deliberately lying to the American public to support his "gut feeling" about Iraq's weapons, aside from not waiting for evidence concerning Iraq's possible weapons, and then breaking our 10 year agreement, not to attack Iraq if they got rid of these weapons, which lead to a full scale invasion, which lead to the occupation and collapse of their infrastructure, which was like a welcome mat for terrorist infiltration, which lead to the loss of many US lives and boosted the terrorist's recruitment, and put us all in even more immediate danger, aside from convincing nations, like Korea and China, that any peace agreement with the US will be spat upon by the Bush administration, if he should happen to feel like it, which puts us in the highest level of possible danger, because unlike Iraq, Korea and China actually have weapons of mass destruction, aside from all this... He went and reinforced the publics notion that people with poor speech abilities are idiots. And that's what just pisses me off! And now you know! COMING NEXT: My god, there's something swimming in my stomach! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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