|
|
|
| This Week's |
| | | | | | | Add To Your Site! . |
||
| Commentaries: |
|
|
Ask Bob!
So I gave up that whole Christian thing, seems like a whole lot o' work. I GOT SOME MAIL FROM VISITORS!!! (P.S. I get about 200 spam mails every day...so if you send an email that starts with something like: "FANTASTIC MONEY MAKING OPPORTUNITY" it'll probably won't read it. Just thought you should know. Jason from Amherst: Me and my friends were out by the lake and they decided to skip some stones on the water. But I don't know how to skip stones so well. Actually I can't do it at all and you can imagine my imbarassedment. I told myself that the next time we go there (to the lake) I would be the very best stone skipper that there ever was. But I need help. Help me Obi-Bob-ka-nobi, you're my only hope. Help me Obi-Bob-ka-nobi, you're my only hope. Help me Obi-Bob-ka-nobi, you're my only hope. Help me Obi-Bob-ka-nobi, you're my only hope. Dear Jason: You watch too much Star Wars movies and that's probably why you can't throw stones skipping on water. You don't go out enough - I bet you throw like a girl. Yup, a real momma's-boy, reading science-fiction magazines all the time and playing computer games. Speaking of computers, my uncle Binney gave me a computer last week! It's ten times better than the one I use to make TheWeirdcrap.com. I was real happy about it, until I got the bill. He didn't tell me he was charging me when he brought it over. He calls and says, "Hey Bobb-o, yous want a new cum-puter? I don't know how they wurk?" I says, "Ok, bring it on over." So he does. A few days later he stops by and says he needs $5,000 for it. I explain it's only worth about $1,000 new, but this one don't have a hard drive, so I have to spend $100 and install it, which is easy but still...$5,000? Then he explains how he got it. Turns out someone owed uncle Binney's boss $5,000, so Binney is send down to collect it. Well this guy, who works for the city, somehow, ends is hangin' upside down outside his apartment. Luckily Binney was right there hanging onto his ankles to stop him from falling! Says Binney to the ex-Mayor, "I can either drop you down for loosing that city contract, or I can collect $5,000...TODAY!!!" But he don't got the money, but he offers to give Binney his computer instead. Only he wants to keep the hard drive 'cause he's got important information in it. Now Binney don't understand computers too good, but he understands math even less. So he don't really know that he's agreeing to trade $5,000 cash for a $1,000 computer. All Binney knows is...computers is worth good money - ain't they? So he knows I got the web-site and I need new computers every so often, 'cause I've been complaining that I need to update TheWeirdcrap.com, but I can't with my old computer. In short, I got the computer, and he want's $,5000 because he says the computer is worth, "a lot of money." This is true, but I fail in explaining that, "a lot of money," doesn't always mean, "as much money as you happen to want." He don't really understand, and soon I'm dangling outside my window with Binney holding my ankles, so I agree to write a check for $5,000. I swear it's good and he can cash it the next day...but...if...for some reason, there is a problem...then he should contact my banker. Then I gave him the name and address of my financial planner (i.e. term-life salesman who just happens to live in an suave high-rise apartment). Needless to say, the check was bad. By this time tomorrow, my finacial planner will be dangling outside his window. Binney will get his money to give to his boss, I get a free computer and I finally get back at my financial planner for selling my that shitty life insurance policy. And now you know! Oh, I almost forgot to answer your question! This little didley should help...keep it in mind when you set up your next throw! Let's say the stones diameter is equal to "a" and the velocity (of your throw) is equal to "V", then mass is "M" and tilt is (¤), angle of attack (ß), and the density of the water is (Áw). The rest is pretty much self evident:
COMING NEXT: Did I say peanuts?!!
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
| | | | | | © 2002 by TheWeirdcrap.com - "Insanity has found a home." |