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Lunatic Ravings
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Song in my head:
"Everybody's got somethin' to say,
from the Inca Princess to the hounds of hell..."
- The White Stripes
-
We finally got an email from Jerome who's been reporting for TheWeirdcrap.com in Iraq! It says, "Send lawyers,
guns, and money." I guess he's gonna start up a business. Let's all hope it goes well.
Earlier this week I got another email. Not an email with a question for "Ask Bob"
(that's me) but a whole column! What a great idea. Instead of me slaving over a hot computer, I figure you can!
If any of you wanna write a column and send it in, I'll happily post it - as long as it don't have any inappropriate
or hate speeches, it's good-to-go by me. We get about four to six thousand page views per day, so lots of folks
will read your shit. In fact, our real-time statistics are available at http://www.theweirdcrap.com/webstat so you can check for yourself.
It don't even have to be good... I
just don't want to do it. But I also don't want to give up the carton of cigarettes (any brand) that TheWeirdcrap.com
gives me for sending in a column each week. In fact if you write a column and I use it, I'll send you a cigarette!
It's just my way of saying thanks!
So if you got sumthin' to say, send
me your column with the subject header, "I
got sumthin' to say" and I'll let you know when it goes up! If you
don't use the special subject line, then I might think it's a spam mail and delete it. Send your column to, webmaster@theweirdcrap.com and I'll be
sure to get it lickity-split, just like that! Now, ON WITH THE SHOW THIS IS IT!
I GOT SUMTHIN' TO SAY!!!
by Rainbow Senitram
Against my better judgement, I left sweet little Baby Gurl with my drunken husband
(he stays sober around the baybee) to attend a class about Islam. Kind of an informative "Islam for Dummies"
session at a Lutheran Church. It was neat. It was informative. I learned that the root word of Islam means peace,
that true Muslims submit themselves to Allah & that here is one God and only he is worthy to be worshipped.
COOL! I can dig it - I see many parallels between Islam and the Christian belief systems. I'm sure you can draw
the same conslusions, so in the spirit of honoring your unique intelligence, I'll let you do the math.
Anyways, a woman stands up to address the speaker and begins by citing her 40 years of studying and teaching Christian
theology. Nothing to sneeze at, but wait - it gets better. She continues to say that Muslims and Christians don't
worship the same God - in fact, Christians worship the triune (Father/Son/Holy Spirit) God - Far superiour to the
Muslim one, all-powerful God, which I guess is perceived as 1, as opossed to 3-in-1.
Fine. Whatever. I think, that as long as one holds God supreme, and lives his/her life to honor God and help Mankind,
that is good. I think that the spirit of the talk was to find similarities and build a bridge between Muslims and
Christian traditions - not to declare once and for alll whose definition of God is better, who is better versed
in scripture, and who gets into heaven by the best method.
I'm mad because it's all abut getting out of our narrow views and listening to what others say and think. You don't
have to agree. You don't have to drop everything and follow what the other guys do. You don't have to give smiley
faces if your beliefs match and red cheeks if they don't.
"Listen, get out of your "I'm right" mindset and learn something! Transfer! Be tolerant and accepting!"
I wanted to say that to the lady, but I couldn't so I'm saying it to you. Thanks for listening.
The big thing is, that everyone is worried about salvation after death. Who gets into the big "Studio 54"
in the sky, and who has to hang out at "Ed's Beer, Ammo and Purgatory." It's all about exclusion. Who
can we feel better than, even when we're dead? How can I make you do what I
want without using physical force? I know - I'll scare the jeebies out of you, so you say my magic words, wear
my magic garment and go to my magic church and you will be -
SAVED -. Now make your check out to ___________, we need a new fellowship
hall.
I may regret saying this, but I believe heaven and hell are states/stages of mind, not actual places - so if I'm
right, I probably won't regret saying this!
But I would almost RATHER burn in helll with all the people who aren't "good enough" than be stuck in
heaven with a bunch of uptight, snotty, better-than-you, fellow-man-haters because they followed the rules and
had no spirit; because, that heaven
would be a hell to me.
Anyways, it sounds like I need a good dose of "Sunshine and Lollly-Pops",
so I'll turn it back to my occasionally employed, joint-achy, glue-sniffing,
husband again.
And now you know!
COMING NEXT: What was that about
my cat and the bathroom?
Email Bob!
webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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