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Ask Bob!
"Blah-blah blah blah, blah - West Memphis, girbity-slurba, grub-grub-grub - (insert a word that rhymes with West Memphis here)..." - Lisa Marie Sorry, I didn't link to her song 'cause I have no idea what she's saying, all I can understand is, "West Memphis." Elvis's kid makes a song and the words are so garbled and slurred you can't make heads or tails of it! I think, she thought; that if you heard West Memphis enough times, then you would think of Elvis. Thus, pounding into your brain that she is the one and only Elvis kid; therefore, you should like her...and buy her CD. Well I ain't buyin' it! I guess I shouldn't be so critical. I tried the same thing. My dad (Sam) was a real popular guy. Naturally, I thought that if I associated myself with him, then I too would have a popular singing career. So I purchased a Casio synthesizer and went to work. I called myself, "Son of Sam." But for some reason people only gave me dirty looks. Then I decided that I need to be more cutting edge...you know, for the kids. So I called myself "Son-of-a-bitch." My mom slapped my silly and made me pick a new name. My wife suggested "Cheap Bastard," but then my nephew suggested "Uncle Cheap-skate." But it didn't really matter 'cause by the time I tried all these names I dropped the whole idea. Baby Gurl is now 1 year old! I went all out and bought a half sheet of cake for our 7 relatives. A half sheet feeds about 35-40 people, so we had some left over. I was all proud about the pretty yellow cake I picked out, but my sister took one look and within a fraction of a second commented, "Why is it all the same color? Was it cheaper for just one color?" I go all out, and that's the thanks I get. She was right, it was cheaper. The kid is gettin' all her teeth at once. Since she was nine months old, she just had one tooth; now...BOOM! TEETH! So now Baby Gurl can't sleep and she wakes up and cries. So I'm up at two in the morning and I find out we is all out of the special liquid Tylenol for babies. I give her a bottle, but that don't do the trick. So I put a Tylenol in my mouth and chew it up nice and fine. Then without swallowing, I take a chug of cherry Hi-C that's left over from her birthday party. I woosh the two together in my mouth and drip the liquid-cherry Tylenol it into the baby's mouth just like big bird. Worked pretty good! Drastic circumstances, calls for drastic measures! My mom's old roommate used to say that. I figured since she was a social worker, she knows what she's talking about. And by social worker, I mean prostitute. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, BOB SENITRAM LOOKS AT THE NEWS!!!
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