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Ask Bob!
"MY ding-a-ling, my ding-a-ling, I want you to play with my ding-a-ling..." - Chuck Berry - As you should all know, Jerome is an official imbedded reporter in Iraq and he was just about to tell us about his adventures looking for weapons of mass destruction. Here is is official transcript sent via instant messaging: It cost me a couple of doobies, but I got a British soldier-boy to let me tag along with his coalition crew to find WMD's! I was surprised to find that the international coalition consisted of two Brits and one American. I asked where the UN weapon finding folks was, but he just bonked me on the head and said that this was it. I thought we were going to search factories, but we just went door to door to peoples houses . I recorded the whole thing on tape and got help with a local to translate (cost a couple of more doobies). This is why I wasn't ready with this report last week. I meant to tell you, but I got really stoned and forgot. That Saddam has got some killer weed. But that's another story. By the way, if anyone wants to know, I know where he's at...he's one slick dooog. OOOOOF-OOOOOF. I had to throw that in there. Most the time I spent with Saddam, he was getting stoned and watching old Arsinio Hall and Geraldo Rivera tapes - HE LOVES THE GUYS!!! Anywho, I had to stay sober for a few days just so I could put this together. WMD FINDERS: "Ding-dong" EVIL DOER OF THE HOUSE: "Who is it?" WMD FINDERS: "We are looking for Weapons of Mass Destruction, are you the man of the house." EVIL DOER OF THE HOUSE: "I'm the only man in the house, everyone else got kilt in the air raids. Why did you say 'Ding-Dong just now?" WMD FINDERS: "There wasn't a door bell. Now look here, do you have WMD's or not!" EVIL DOER OF THE HOUSE: "Why didn't you just knock? I was going to disrupt a chap during breakfast, I think I would just knock. I wouldn't go around shouting 'Ding-Dong' at a closed door! What in the world is a WMD? Are you a salesman?" WMD FINDERS: "Now look here you, I'll ask the questions around here. We are in control of this country...AND I SHOULD THANK YOU OPEN THIS DOOR!" EVIL DOER OF THE HOUSE: "You're in control of the country?" WMD FINDERS: "Yes." EVIL DOER OF THE HOUSE: "I would think someone in control of a whole country would have better things to do, than go walking around interrupting chaps at meal-time! Who elected you anway? I don't remember any elections." WMD FINDERS: "I'm not personally in charge of the country, I mean we are in charge, the coalition." EVIL DOER OF THE HOUSE: "I don't remember voting for any coalition. If I should happen to decide to drop bombs on perfectly fine houses, I wouldn't think that I was the leader of the country." WMD FINDERS: "NOW LOOK HERE, I'VE HAD JUST ABOUT ENOUGH OF YOU - WE'RE COMING IN!!! "Private, knock down the door!" -KRASH!!!- (We're in and the Brit grabs the native by the collar!)
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