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Ask Bob!
"Cast out of heaven, cast out on my knees..." - PJ Harvey - Today (Friday) I was home during the day, 'cause I work long hours and often get one day off during the week. This week I get the sweet three day weekend! Yeaaaaa me. Well I felt so lucky to recieve a telemarketing call! LUCKY ME!!! This guy wants me to give money to the police. I says, "The last time I gave money to the Pooe-leeessse, I ended up getting a million telemarketing calls from evey charity on the face of the Earth and I swore, Never again. He says, "I just go ahead and send you our packet and you can send your payment in the mail." I says, "No, that's ok." He says, " You should get it in just a few days." Me, "Don't send it." Him, "It's for the children of dead police-mans...I'll go ahead and send it so you can help the children." Me, "What about the dead children of all the black people that Omaha police shoot each year? What do you got for them? I give to that charity." Him, "Now don't get smart." Me, "The last time I was stopped by Omaha's finest, I had a flat tire in the winter and I was halfway toward a 7-Eleven. He stops me 'cause God-forbid a "darky" is wondering the streets at night. So he asks what I'm doin' in "this neighborhood." So's I tells him that my car got itself a flat tire. He makes me get in the car and does a check with my license, to see if I'm "wanted." And justifiably, my-people are always up to somethin'. Then he asks where my car is, and I tells him. He drives there and proceeds to write a ticket 'cause I parked my car on the side of the road instead of driving into a driveway. I explains that I didn't want to ruin the rims on the car, so I parked right away. He just smiles and hands me a ticket and tells me I can go. I says, "I was on the way to a 7-Eleven to call "Triple A" when you picked me up (no cell phones back in the day). Can I get a ride?" He says, "I'm a policeman, not a taxi driver." I says, "Can you at least drop me off where you picked me up, I was half way there and it's like four degrees out." Then he gets irate, "IF YOU WANT TO STAY, I'LL RUN YOU DOWNTOWN." So I gets to walking..." Telemarketing man, "Look I'm just not interested." Then the telemarketing man hangs up on me. Which all goes to prove that Yvonne is a bitch! And now you know! COMING NEXT: The Bitch is Back! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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