|
|
|
| This Week's |  |
| | | | | | | Add To Your Site! . |
|
| Commentaries: |  |
|
|
Ask Bob!
"Someone say, 'One more time,' then we'll take it all the way. Nobody wants to? Okay, I will, 'ONE MORE TIME..." - Barry Mantilow - That last song is particularly amusing because Barry is in concert and he asks for audience participation, but nobody participates. What a looser. Craven Morehead from Mississippi asks: Why do dogs eat shit? Dear Mr. Morehead, Sorry it took over two years to answer your question, but I spent the last two years answering someone elses question. I'm sure you'll be satisfied with my research because I have a degree in Science! At first it may seem that dogs are complete idiots. Just look at chickens, they eat their own poop and they're idiots. But not so much for dogs...for their reasons are much more complex. The details of the dog feces question is covered in more detail in my book, Fun with Feces. But I'll go ahead and give you a summary for free! As everybody knows, our world has been totally destroyed four different times. Each time, life has to start again. For example, the most intelligent life form can evolve from apes (in our case); or it could evolve from reptiles, birds, or canines. It is common knowledge that the last intelligent life form came from reptiles, which explains the "Reptile Ruins" found in Nevada. As you know, the government decided to cover up the existence of the ruins because all the stupid people, the "Religious Right," and Pat Buchannan would freak-out. Anyway, still under debate is the intelligent life form that dominated the planet before the Reptilians (seems like a good name). The most popular theory is that before apes, before the Reptilians, the Canine-ites (intelligent dogs that walked upright) ruled the earth. There's no evidence to support this, but it sounds good to me. The Canine-ites were thought to be quite the efficiency experts, in thier world nothing could be wasted. Therefore, to make things more efficient in the digestion process, Dog-Scientists developed nano-machines that were inserted in the digestive tract of all puppies shortly after birth. There, they lived in the dogs digestive system. These nano-machines were designed to strip all the nutrients out of food. They were so efficient that they didn't have enough time to suck everything out of food the first time around, so to preserve the precious resources of the Earth, dogs were taught at a young age to eat their poo, so it can go through a second time, giving the "nano's" a chance to really do their job. You may have noticed that dogs also will chew on bones, grass, and pretty much anything they can find. This is because the "nanos" of days-gone-by, could digest about anything. Although the Dog-Scientists and the Nano Machines are long gone, dogs still have the habit of eating poo and pretty much anything else in their path. This also explains why dogs like humans so much, they recognize the "good life" and want to be a part of it. The Reptilians had a much different life. Their world was extreamly violent, even by human standards. Reptiles like to attack humans because they want to take the world back by force; unfortunately, evolution dealt them a crappy hand this time around and all they have to fight with is their teeth. And now you know! COMING NEXT: The big chief rides again! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
| | | | | | © 2002 by TheWeirdcrap.com - "Insanity has found a home." |
