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Ask Bob!
"Your the reason for my life, you're my inspiration..." - Chicago? Peter Citera? - This was one of those days that a song I hate keeps playin' over and over and over again in my head. As a result, I have turned to drink to help me forget. Which reminds me, today is the famous Weirdcrap fall Preview Issue! Traditionally I examine the new TV season, but I've grown tired of the networks and decided to examine the fine shows on that new cable system they just installed in Omaha, NE. I heard rumor that other parts of the country has had the new "cable television" available as a test. Well the testing is over and some new company called PENIS, just hooked us up a few months ago. And I was one of first people to get it! So for those who also have this new system, here's what you can expect to see! Cartoon Network - will feature cartoons this season. Sci-Fi Channel - will feature sci-fi shows. TBS - will feature what-ever USA showed the previous week, except Saturdays where they will feature the same movie all day. USA - will feature what-ever TBS showed the previous two weeks ago, except Saturdays where they will feature the same movie all day. The two cable channels will exchange programming for two months before one of them will accidentally air something different; as a result, the same shows and movies will be played an average of 232 times within a three month period. Which is great for the viewer because it can be a great time saving tool! I tested this out and decided to report back to you. This is what I did: I watched "The Abyss" in 5 min segments during each of the show times until I saw the whole movie. This way, instead of sitting down for an hour and a half (minus commercial time), I would simple dedicate 5 minutes per day, at my convenience, to one of the hundreds of showtimes. With my busy schedule, I concluded this would be a great time-saver! However, each time I tuned in to watch my five minutes worth, the show wasn't where I left off. I ended up watching an average of 32 minutes of show before I got to where I left off, then I watched my five minutes worth. Since an hour and a half was 18 five minute sessions, I actually sat in front of the TV for about 666 minutes, which come out to about 11 hours of TV watching before I finally watched the ending of "The Abyss." But it was worth it - IT WAS A GREAT MOVIE! Oh yes, back to those cable reviews. The New TNN - will play what-ever was really popular about eight years ago. Comedy Central - will feature comedy's...and... oh well I guess you get the idea. That's all for now, hear the ding-ding man down the street! MMMmmmmm. And now you know! COMING NEXT: I create a new diet plan and get my ass kicked all at once! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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