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Ask Bob!
"...a school of fool-fish playin' hookey from school, and gettin' caught...AND LIKIN' IT! Psyco-alph-disco-beta-bio-aqua-do-loop..." - Parliament - This Wednesday I wuz real surprised to see a bunch of stuff on TV about 9/11. If not for trusty old the TV, I might have forgot. I hope the Networks made a lot of money from advertising, I'd hate to think all those people died for nothing. <---sarcasm There's never a good, bad, right or wrong when it comes to violence. It's all bad, that's the way I see it. This is the part of the story that I tell you about my freaky dreams. So I walk into the front room, and from the corner of my eyes I see something dark, spinning around. I look up and Baby-Girl is wrapped up in a black garbage bag. Looked like there were five holes cut out of the bag, two for her legs to hang down, two for her arms to stick out, and one for her head. The opening of the bag was wrapped around a ceiling fan blade, and she was lookin' down at me, laughing and spinning around. I get kinda pissed off at the ol' lady and let out a big sigh, "Dammit woman! I told you...DO NOT TO PUT THE BABY IN THE CEILING FAN!!!' "But she likes it!" She says. "It's really not very safe." She just gives me an, "in one ear and out the other" look, and says, "Uh-huh." I turn off the fan and drag a chair from the dining area of our crappie apartment, and get the baby down. This pisses me off even more because I'm only 31/2 feet tall and I can barely reach to get Baby-Girl down. My wife, on the other hand, could take her down in a minute 'cause she's almost 6 feet tall. I sit in the front room with the baby and start to read her a story (the 'ol lady went to bed). Then I get a funny feeling toward the front door and I walk on over. I look through the little square window in the door and I see some dark-demon-thingy with a dark cloak. The face is only shadows...all I know is it's evil. I get a scarred 'cause I gotta protect the baby and didn't quite know the best defense for an angel of darkness at the front door. I put Baby-Girl down and look out the window again and it's still there! I get the Baby to protect her and then remember I don't have a window in my door, I have a peep hole! That's when I realize I'm dreaming. I look back at the door and now it's a peep hole like it's supposed to be. So I figure if I'm dreaming, then I can do whatever I want! I hold Baby-Girl close to my chest and slowly lean forward toward the hallway. I keep leaning forward until I'm floating. Then I float over to the Bedroom where the 'ol lady is, because I gotta protect her too! I float above my wife and slowly lower myself over her to make myself a human shield over the Baby and my wife. Then I use my dream-powers to wish the evil spirit away. I wake up and I'm face down on top of my wife's juicy-fruit booty. She's hitting my head in her sleep and sayin', "Get off me you perve, I'm tryin' to sleep!" I get up and check the Baby's room and she's A-Ok in her bed. I go back to bed and think, "The ceiling fan, I told her not to do that." I have no idea what this dream means but if anyone has any idea go ahead and let me know, I'm very confused! And now you know! COMING NEXT: Is it time for my annual fall preview? Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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