|
|
|
| This Week's |  |
| | | | | | | Add To Your Site! . |
|
| Commentaries: |  |
|
|
Ask Bob!
"Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting, those kats were fast as lightning." - Carl Douglas - Jim from the Bronx: How come movie reviews seem so 'hoitey-toitey"? Funny you should ask, just today I got out an Entertainment Weekly Magazine. A couple of years ago, I had a job answering telephones for a company that never got calls. I had nothing to do so I'd pick up an Entertainment Weekly from the breakroom. A few times a year I would mention an article to my wife. I guess she thought I really liked it because she surprised me with a three year subscription. Truth be known, after reading the magazine every week for a year, I would only find one or two tidbits of information that seemed remotely interesting. Now I got 'em piled up all over the house, because in Omaha, recycles don't go to apartments and I'm too lazy to make it to the paper recycle place. Anyways, back to my story. I got an Entertainment Weekly, and proceeded with my weekly ritual. I opened it to the middle, set it on the floor, and proceeded to cut my toenails, using the mag to catch the clippings. This prevents toenails from getting tangled up in the carpet. See how cool life is? Even the most worthless of things can find a purpose! Wow! I noticed, it was open to the "Movie Review" section. When I finished my nails, I read the reviews. Seems like any movie that has black or Latino star - will suck. At least according to his weeks magazine. Then I figured the reviewers probably just don't like "people of color." I realized my people are not being represented in the movie review industry! What the world needs is a hard core movie review from a no-nonsense hip-hop-brothaaaa. I know some other black people, but one is working on a law degree and the other has a master's in music. They just seem too "uptown" and what we needed was "downtown." So I called Jerome for the job, he's from the getto and has "the word on the street." Jerome isn't actually black, he's a blonde hair, blue eyed, German guy. But he's from "North Omaha," and that's where all the "brotha's" live. So he's as ethnic as they get. I didn't want to waste a money on movies, when that same money could be used on booze, prostitutes, and gambling. So instead of reviewing new movies, I thought we'd start off with some older stuff. First thing Jerome did, when he got to the house, was too grab me by the neck and say, "Suk'ko! Get that "Vanilla Ice" 8-track, out the stereo, or I'll bust your head!" Then he made me take off my parachute pants and put some jeans on. Movie Review #1: Chicken Run
Movie Review #2
Movie Review #3
Next Jerome got frustrated and pounded my ass until I felt like I was made of
silly-puddy.
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
| | | | | | © 2002 by TheWeirdcrap.com - "Insanity has found a home." |
