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	Lunatic Ravings Maculate Conception Ask Bob Chick Shit for Chick Chicks Ask Bob A Question! Ask Bob 2002 Visit the Archives!! Join Us!		Ask Bob! Ask Bob! - 07/05/02 By Bob Senitram Published each Friday Note from the Editor: Last week we did not receive a commentary from Bob and we were very disappointed. I had a meeting with the Big-Chief-Mucka-Mucka-Man (the founder) to see if we should still send Bob the $20 we usually pay him for his commentary. I guess he was in a good mood, because he said to go ahead and pay him since he just had Baby-Girl. So I sent the check. Now Stephen says it's not fair that Bel skips a few weeks - and gets paid, Bob skips a week - and gets paid. Now Stephen wants to skip a week - and get paid. So he don't send a commentary in either. So all together, we're out 80 bucks and nothing new is on the site. Meanwhile, the boss thinks we're making a profit of thousands of dollars per day, but that's only in "Enron/MCI Math." In real-life, we've never made a profit at all, in fact - we've never made any money. I had him fooled for a while, but I think he's catching on. And this pay-with-no-new-content stuff ain't helping. Enough about my woes, Bob still hasn't coughed anything up for this week, so I'm not sure if I should send him another 20 bucks if he doesn't cough something up soon! But I got the following letter from his wife and I'm just not sure: Dear Facist Bastards, I'm so very sorry that Bob hasn't sent in a commentary for a few weeks. I pleaded with him to comply, but my prayers go unanswered. It all started when Bob went to a garage sale and purchased a vintage Atari with a Pac Man cartridge. Once he started playing, he became obsessed with beating the high score. All he does is smoke Generic Cigarettes and drink Mountain Dew while he plays that Atari game. Since he's not allowed to smoke in the apartment, he drilled a hole in the wall next to the sliding glass door that goes to the porch. Then he ran the controller for the Atari through the hole so it goes outside to the balcony. Next he rolls the TV next to the glass door and plays Pac Man from the balcony so he can chain smoke while he does it! With that hole in the wall the smoke still comes inside, but after I complained a bit he sealed it with Silly Putty. He won't do anything else, but play that damn game! We need the money from his commentary! Please send us the twenty dollars, it's the only income we have. Bob talks about "going to work this" and "going to work that," but the truth is he hasn't had a job since 1994 and that twenty dollars is the only cash we get each week. Please help us you money hungry bastards, you're our only hope! Mrs. Senitram I still can't decide if I should sent that stupid monkey his 20 dollars. I hate Bob, but I don't want the poor family that got stuck with him to suffer! I just can't decide. If you readers have any thoughts on this please write to me and let me know if I should give Bob his money. While you're at it, let everyone know what a stupid idiot he is and I'll post your remarks on the next commentary. Send your response to: webmaster@theweirdcrap.com. And now nobody knows! COMING NEXT: Our Annual Day Late and Dollar Short Fourth of July Spectacular! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com     Send Email Archives

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