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Ask Bob!
"But if you loose don't ask no questions why, the only game you know is "do or die..SUPERFLY!." - Curtis Mayfield - "Rayo" writes: Is you fresh? Dear "Rayo," Funny you should ask. Just last week I decided to change my regular brand of underarm deoderant to a "New and Improved Sport Fresh Feeling" brand. But what really amazed me, is the first time I put that stuff on after my morning shower. Because I'm always late, I'm usually driving to work just a few minutes after I stumble out of the shower. My kitty hides in the bathroom while I shower and every morning comes darting from his hiding place, runs between, making me fall over. Usually I hit my nose and get a nose bleed. It's ok, I keep cotten balls on the counter so I can quickly shove one in my nose. Now your probably thinking, "Why not just kick the cat out of the bathroom?" This would be impossible, since the litter box is in my bathroom and I have to leave the door open just a crack so the kitty uses the litter box and doesn't try to poop in Baby-Girls mouth while she sleeps. Of course this is just a theory, because being a new born, Baby-Girl has never slept. Likewise, both me and my wife haven't slept more than an hour since she was born about a month ago. Which reminds me of some strange things that have been happening lately. A few times, in the middle of the night, I can swear Baby-Girls face changed or morphed into some kind of demon-looking thing. She kept telling me, "Kill the kitty...Kill The Kitty!...KILL THE KITTY!!!" Then she points to an object, like a Teddy Bear, and it spins around in circles while levitating a few feet off the ground. Then I blink and all would be normal. I told my wife about it. She called me crazy and pushed me off the balcony. But it's ok, I had a cigarette in my mouth that broke my fall. Anyways, about that deodorant. It had a super-duper strong "sport scent" that you can smell a mile away. But I didn't know this until I put it on. Of course I was running late, so I didn't have time to clean it off. On the way to work, I'm rolling down the window 'cause the strong scent is making my eyes are water. Needless to say, everyone at work noticed and I was a little imbarassed about the whole thing. But what imbarassed me the most is what happened as a result of that stupid deodorant. My office is right next to an employee bathroom. Everytime somebody made a "stinky," my co-workers dragged me into the smelly bathroom, made me raise my arms and spin around in circles, releasing enough of the "Sport Fresh" smell to "clear the air." So thanks to my new brand of deodorant, I now have to double as a human bathroom with no extra pay. So in that respect, I guess I am fresh. And now you know! COMING NEXT: Telemarketing, Big Gay Al, and Cox Cable Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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