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Ask Bob!
"Although it was a little bit frightening, it was done with expert timing..." - Carl Douglas - Aaron S. from CA, writes: I read your article on 01/25/02, and I think you are full of shit! It's very hard to come up with new and creative ideas for TV shows. If you think it's so easy, you write a pilot to some shows! Dear Aaron S. : Ok, I will. My first idea takes place in the Middle East. The scene opens Inside an important political office: Al Sharon opens up his desk and pull out an obvious bomb. It's a bunch of dynamite tied to an alarm clock. He clips one wire and it is deactivated. Then he looks back into the drawer and pulls out a recent Penthouse Magazine. He holds the magazine up and looks toward the opposite side of the room with a silly grin. The camera pans to show Arafat sitting on a chair shrugging his shoulders with a big grin. The camera takes back to Al who's now laughing with Arafat, just like a "Mentos Commercial." Cue: "Odd Couple Theme Music," Buddup, buddup, ba-da...da, da, daaaaa...da, da, daaaaa, daaaa..." Announcer Starts with the show's introduction: Announcer: Al Sharon. Because he's Jewish, he was kicked out of every respectable Hate Group in Europe and was told, "Never to Return." Yassar Arafat. Because he was considered soft, he was kicked out of every respectable terrorist camp in the Middle East. He was also told, "Never to Return." Can two hateful madman share the same country without driving each other CRAZY? Bring up Theme and show Logo: "The VERY Odd Couple!" I think this show could be entertaining and teach kids about world politics at the same time. My next show combines a popular movie genre, art, comedy, and a recent movie, to make one funny, action packed, "artsy-fartsy," adventure show that the whole family can enjoy. It's called the "Kung Fu Fight Club." The show focuses on action packed fight scenes, while they try to recruit new members. But since the first rule of the "Kung Fu Fight Club" is that, you can't talk about the "Kung Fu Fight Club," so they have to ask people in myme. They never get their point across as the new recruit tells them, "Me not interesting!" Which is funny and classy. The best thing about this idea is we get to use, "Kung Fu Fighting" by Carl Douglas, as the theme song. I always liked that song. It makes me laugh. Next, "The Stupid Law Show." This is a "Dateline," "60 Minutes" type of show. They interview people who voted for and maintain stupid laws. For example, our first show could feature my hometown Omaha, Nebraska: It would feature stuff like this: A couple of years ago, we had a pathetic horse-racing place called "Ak-sar-ben." This was just "Nebraska" spelled backwards. They should've been closed down just for the stupid name. But no! They close it down for the stupidest of all reasons. At "Ak-sar-ben" anyone was allowed to bet money on the horse races, which by all standards...is gambling. When Casino's opened in Iowa, "Ak-sar-ben" asked permission to open up slot machines to supplement the loss revenues from Iowa. The geniuses in Nebraska Legislature decided It was, "legal to bet on horses, but illegal to gamble..." That's like saying, "it's legal to take things without paying for them, but it's illegal to steal." So now it's closed and I gotta go to Iowa to gamble - which sucks. The next year, the "Nebraska Santee" Reservation opened a small casino. Nebraska sent the police to close it down because. Apparently every state in the country says it's ok for gambling on reservations...except Nebraska. They said it was denied because Nebraska is known as, "The Good Life." Since gambling is supposed to be bad, it contradicts the colorful signs that we post on the interstate. Nebraska - Stupid. I guess I got off the subject. Sorry, but I got it like that. I'm staying home from work all this week, waiting for Hollywood's call! And now you know. COMING NEXT: Apple Jacks - Apple Jacks - Apple Jacks! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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