|
|
|
| This Week's |  |
| | | | | | | Add To Your Site! . |
|
| Commentaries: |  |
|
|
Ask Bob!
"Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree..." - Eurythmics - Winston, from Alabama writes: Bob, I saw a tv. commercial with a bunch of ladies putting tape on their faces. They say it'll make them look funky-fresh and young. Then I saw a big-boob herb commercial. Now they got a Penthouse Playmate selling a penis enlargement pill. What gives? Dear Winston, When I was still in college I rented a room from a lady who had a teenage daughter. One day the girl and her friends were in the dinning room putting tape all over their faces to distort themselves into monsters, just like the ladies in the commercial. She put tape on her nose and ran it up to her forehead and made herself into a pig-girl. That made me laugh. So I guess putting tape on your face is something that girls like to do. So why not give them what they want. Maybe if we give the ladies what they want, they'll give us guys what we want. Which brings me to the breast enhancing herb. Do they work? Are they worth it? I don't know but I came up with these simple guidelines: A) . Any product with the word "herb" is ok in my book. Even the disco group "Peaches and Herb" is great. It's true the name "Herb" is pronounced with a hard "H," but it's spelled the same. And that's good enough. B) . Secondly, any product made to enhance breasts - is good. Which means it is worth the investment, which is relatively small. In the past when I dated a woman with smaller breasts, I just got her pregnant. Within a few months she would have full round breasts. All natural. But that got too expensive. Currently I pay about $1,700 a month in child support and that's way more than what they charge for the herbs. Since I only take home about $2,000 a month, I'm left a little short on the cash side. Speaking of short, I've seen the penis enlargement commercial with the Penthouse Pet. I never really knew what she was selling 'cause when I see big boobs I stop thinking. The next time I saw it, I turned the other way and listened. At the end she say's "looks and money won't get you a girlfriend because girls really want a bigger man." This is true to some extent, but since most women don't see a man's genitalia prior to dating, I don't think it's a factor used by women to decide to date someone. I guess that's kind of unfair because if a man likes breasts all he has to do is look at the ample protrusion in a woman's shirt and he can tell what's cookin'. In many cases the ladies will just put on a little advertisement with big cleavage shirts and dresses. This tells the guys, "If it's boobs you want, it's boobs you got!" But girls got it different. With loose fitting pants they can't tell what you got. They don't make special pants for guys that display testicle cleavage for woman. So what else they got to go off of. For some it's either "good looks" or "money," that's what gets the ladies. Whether a lady stays with you, and puts up with your daily shit is totally dependent on your packaged goods. So that penis pill will never help you get a girlfriend, but it might help you keep one. So if you got trouble keeping a girl, well I guess you might consider buyin' the pill. If you got trouble getting a girlfriend, your probably better off practicing witty, spontaneous humor. Girls like someone who can make them laugh. If that doesn't work, move to Nevada where hookers are legal. And now you know. COMING NEXT: What was I going to talk about again? Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
|
|||||||||||||||||
|
|
||||||||||||||||||
|
| | | | | | © 2002 by TheWeirdcrap.com - "Insanity has found a home." |
