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Ask Bob!
"Everybody cut, everybody cut, EVERYBODY CUT - FOOTLOOSE!" - Kenny Loggins - I come home for lunch on Thursday, make me a nice sandwich, plop down on the couch, turn on the tv and started watching "The TLC story" on VH1. The next thing I know, the channel goes, "Fizzzzzz" and there's nothing but static for a picture. So I channel down a little and the other channels are ok. But past channel 29 I get nuthin'. So I wait a few minutes, thinking it'll just come back on. But it don't. I get stuck watching 10 minutes of "Matlock." Ain't that a bitch. In case you haven't been keeping track of my where-abouts, here's the skimmy: I move from Tallahassee, Florida to Omaha, Nebraska in July. I got not job waiting, I just go. What the hell. I finally get a job that actually pays about a buck more than the job I had in Florida, so I'm feeling pretty good. Three months later I get fired for budget cuts. Then I start at a new job a week later. This place pays a buck less than my last job, which is the same amount I made in Florida. Go figure, I'm not that much ahead anymore. But get this, It's only four blocks from my new place. I can wake up at 7:30 in the morning and still get to work early. I can go home for lunch, which means I don't have to make a lunch. But 2 or 3 days out of the week, pharmaceutical salesmen bring free lunches to get our company to buy their drugs. So when I don't go home, I get free lunch. Which is cool. Right now, I'm trying some free samples of Hydrocodone, chased by a couple of beers. Which is even cooler. So I end up likin' my new job even better than the last, even though I make less money. So this is why I'm home for lunch on Thursday. I figure when I come home, at the end of the day, the cable will be back on. But it ain't! So I'll just be patient and wait until Friday and see If I get my channels back. Friday comes, but the channels don't. So I come home from work and call the cable company. Do I get a helpful operator, just waiting for my call? NO! The damn phone rings for 15 minutes...finally it stops ringing, I hear a few clicks and then I dial tone. Someone answered and then just hung up. This really pissed me off because I used to work for an inbound telemarketing company, and I did the same thing to other people all the time, but I never expected to have this happen to me. Mutha-Suckooo's. So I call the Cox Cable Company on Saturday afternoon and explain what happened. She tells me that someone called on Friday and canceled the other channels and that's why they are off. I explain that I called on Friday but nobody answered the phone. It was picked up and then I got hung up on. She says, "Uh, huh. Right." Like I'm lying about it. Like for some reason, I'm gonna benefit from the whole ordeal. I explain that the other channels have been off since Thursday. If I called on Friday, how come they were canceled on Thursday? She says, "Well, if the customer is real irate, sometimes they will cancel the service real fast." So based on her explanation, I was so pissed when I called on Friday, that they decided to go ahead and go back in time one day and cancel the service...Gee, that's what I call "Super-Service!" Thanks, Cox Cable! I don't know why it's legal to just have one cable company in town. They clearly take advantage of the fact that you have no one else to turn to if you want Comedy Central. But this I know, if there were another cable company in town, I'd be all over them like a cheap suit. And that's all I got to say about that. Now you know. COMING NEXT: I finally remember to make fun of George Bush! Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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