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Ask Bob!
"And the wind, cries... mar - y..." - Chritters Buggin' - Shustens from NY writes: Hey, where you've been? Is you dead? Dear Shustens: Sorry for not doing a commentary for a couple of weeks. I forgot. Better late than never, I always say. It's become a bit of a tradition for me to write predictions for the new year, and this year was no exception. Of course I won't tell you my predictions for 2002, until 2003. But today I get to tell you last years predictions for 2001. Now don't think I'm cheating and waiting "after the fact," to create accurate future tells. I'm not. I actually wrote the following predictions for 2001 last year. It's just that they never come true, and it seems far more interesting to see how far off the buggar I am, after the fact, you see. With no more delay, here are my... "Better Late Than Never Predictions for the Year 2001: Prediction #1: Mick Jaggar quits Rock N' Roll. No one cares. Prediction #2: A popular tobacco company picks up a new slogan, "W*NST*NS - Hey kids, It's more addictive than Playstation!" Sales sky-rocket. Prediction #3: George Bush completely comprehends something!" No one believes it. Prediction #4: A new law called "The Bong Law," makes it against the law to manufacture any product, who's use is illegal. Prediction #5: After a near fatal accident, a Long Island couple uses the "Bong Law" in a multi-million dollar law suit against an automobile company for selling them a car that is designed to faster than the speed limit. Not only do they win, the company is forced to pay their many speeding tickets. Originally I had 15 predictions, but I was taking "shots" between each one, and after the fifth they stopped making sense. By the tenth prediction my notepad just had some meaningless scratches and scribbles that I can't read. Speaking of stupid, how 'bout that "Shoe Bomber." Doesn't he look like Bullwinkle? And if he is the real Bullwinkle, does that mean Rocky J. Squirrel is out there creating mischief? I don't know, that "hat bomber" just don't look right to me. I don't think he's a real bright one. Think about it, if you're gonna light a fuse on a bomb, why would you use a match which creates a lingering smell? Cigarette lighters have been around for a while, and they don't leave a smell. I glad he didn't succeed, but man - what an idiot. I decided to leave you with one prediction for 2002! But it's not mine. I'm pretty sure, that based on the Aztec calendar, the world ends on February 12, 2002. And now you know. COMING NEXT: I realize that minute rice tastes like popcorn. Email Bob! webmaster@theweirdcrap.com
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