|
|
|
 Bob Sez - 10/26/01
By Bob Senitram
Published each Friday
Song in my head:
"Speedy motorcycle…
Speedy motorcycle."
- Some lady who sings for the K-Mart Commercial -
I decided to change the name back to "Ask Bob." I figured, why not? I checked with the technical Webmaster
guy and he said he hadn't changed any of the old links from "Ask Bob" to "Bob Sez" anyways.
So go ahead and send me your email question to bobsenitram@weirdcrap.every1.net and I will answer it in the next
commentary. I kinda had fun doing that. Here's some of the email I have received in the last few months:
Dear Bob:
There once was a time when I decided to just stop wiping my ass after taking a shit. Then I found pieces of dried
up crust on my ass, and I don't know where it came from. Then I realized that it was dried up shit that came from
not wiping my ass. I still don't wipe my ass on occasions because I love scraping the crust off with my fingers
while bits and pieces of it drop onto the floor. It's fun.
Francis, Stoneyridge, Ohio
Dear Francis:
I know of what you speak.
Try this, sprinkle some "Barbeque Flavored Accent'" on those crispy morsels and give it a try. You'll
find you have an inexpensive snack and the second time through you might pick up a few nutrients that were missed
the first time. Mmmmmmm.
Love, Bob
Dearest Bob-booski:
I just read the commentary for 10/04/01. It is disgusting! You are a disgusting idiot! This web site is disgusting!
You are all disgusting!!!
Jerry, Albequerque, New Mexico
P.S. You are the mother-fucker.
Jerry:
Your comments are out of order, you are out of…oh, forget it.
Deepest, most sincerest, wonderful-regards,
-The Muther-Fucker
P.S. You are right, there is one motherfucker in this world and I am he.
Dear Muther-Fucker, son-of-a Bitch:
There was one time when I had to take a shit and there was no bathroom around. So I had to take a shit in an open
field. A police car drove by and the cops arrested me for indecent exposure. I tried to explain to them that I
had to take a shit and I couldn't wait until I got home. They charged me anyway. It sucks. They should change the
laws so it is okay to shit in public if it's an emergency.
Sam, Meadows, Kansas
Dear Shammy-boy:
You are 100% right. I used to be a truck driver who ate a lot of salad and cole slaw…I have more indecent exposure
tickets than speeding tickets. People should be allowed to take a crap anywhere they please.
Thanks for your input!
Bob Senitram, Omaha, NE
P.S. You are one sick mutha-fucka, but I am the mutha-fucka!
Re: Dear Muther-Fucker, son-of-a Bitch:
I have no idea what you are talking about?
Sam, Meadows, Kansas
Mr. Poop-Master:
You know, I just live a country mile from Omaha!
When I was a kid, my parents forced me to switch from using the training toilet to using the real toilet. I sat
on the high throne and made my first shit. Then I all of a sudden, I felt that I had to pee at the same time. I
didn't know that I can push my dick down towards the bowl as I was sitting to pee, so what I did was got up and
stood facing the toilet and pee. As I did that, shit came running out of my butt onto the floor from the back.
My mother was mad at the mess I made. HaHa
Tony, Blair, Nebraska
Dear Mother-Fucker:
I think it is horrible that your mother had to clean up that mess, and now you just laugh about it. She is the
mother for goodness sake!
I relinquish my title as, "The Mother-Fucker," and turn it over to you. You are "The Mother-Fucker."
Warmest Regards, Bob S (ex-Mother-Fucker-Man)
COMING NEXT: My wife buys
acid over the counter!
webmaster@weirdcrap.every1.net
|
|
|
