|
|
|
 Bob Sez - 8/10/01
By Bob Senitram
Published each Friday
Stephen and I were getting drunk last week when he decided it would be a good idea
if he pointed out all my personality faults that led to my wife leaving me. He said it was for my own good and
he was just trying to help. But I know he just wanted to make me feel like crap, because Stephen's a jerk.
He said with a little help, I should be able to get a real girlfriend someday, but I was way too tense and that
scares off the ladies.
"Screw you." I muttered.
"Just calm down." He said.
"No! YOU calm down!" I screamed - calmly.
"You calm down." He repeated.
"NO! YOU CALM DOWN!" I screamed - un-calmly.
"Sheese…I'm leaving."
"Okay, okay. I'll calm down." I replied.
I think I'm on edge because I quit smoking the dope about five years ago. I found it relaxing, but after ten years
of never getting anything done, I decided it was time to quit.
.
"So what do I do?"
"I dunno', get some ben-gay and relax those tense muscles." He answered while he poked my eye with one
finger.
So I did.
The next day, I bought 5 tubes of Ben Gay and after a nice warm bath, proceeded to cover my entire body with the
warm slimy cream. The smell kinda made me dizzy, but it was a good dizzy - which is cool.
At first it hurt. The heat all over my body was just too much. I hopped around naked screaming, "Choi-choi-choi-choi!
Choi-choi-choi-choi!" Then it calmed down and I had a nice relaxing warming effect all over my body. That's
when I noticed it was effecting my private parts.
Filled with exodermal, chemical relief lust, I checked out Suzie Q, my girlfriend and knew I had to have her.
I had to have her now.
Suzie Q is a four foot blow-up Godzilla doll that I made my girlfriend.
I was really getting into it when Suzie "popped." The Ben Gay had reacted with the plastic and made her
melt.
I had melted Suzie Q. There I was, glistening in ointment with remnants of her melted, shinny exterior all over
my manhood. To tell the truth, it didn't feel too good.
As I peeled the first strip of plastic from my man-stem, a layer of skin came off as I screamed, "Good God,
mother of mercy! - Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. - Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. Strip after strip I painfully
peeled Suzie Q from my skin.
I'm not sure, but I think I'm circumcised - which is good. I think.
I took a beach towel and wiped off all the Ben Gay, when I heard a knock at the door.
And there she was.
My old lady had done returned to me. Which I had done figured, that was, a right nice thing to happen. Since I
just lost Suzie Q. As soon as my circumcision heals we is gonna have some wild fun!
COMING NEXT: Kitty Insane-o!
Email Bob
webmaster@weirdcrap.every1.net
|
|
|
