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Ask Bob a Question!
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 Bel Garion from an unknown place, asks:
Dear Bob, Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are singing
in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total
seclusion from that place called the world. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade
of serenity. The water is clear. Now, can you easily make out the face of the person whose head you're holding
under the water? Let me know, -Garion Bel
Dear Bel:
Yes, I can see clearly as the image of a face starts to shrivel like a prune. The eyes start to squint and glasses
appear on face of this horrible being.
It is…
It is…
None other than that homely, unpleasant woman that hosts “The Weakest Link.” I don’t know her name and I don’t
care. I watched ten minutes of that show - out of curiosity.
Did I find it entertaining?
No.
Did I find it funny?
No.
Was the host “witty” or at least “pleasant”?
NO!
So what was it?
Garbage, pure and simple. Why anyone would watch that show, I’ll never know. I must admit, I wouldn’t mind winning
a bunch of money on a game show, but who really wants to watch other people win money?
I know I don’t.
Who thought of the idea for this game show anyway?
Maybe, one day some TV executives were sittin’ around - chillin’, smokin’ the Ganga and one said, “Hey, lets have
a game show where we try to make the contestants feel like shit.”
And then the other executive said, “Yeah, cool. And to top it off let’s get a cankerous old witch to host the show.
That way, the viewers can be just as miserable as the contestants.”
Well the rest is history and that’s all I have to say about that.
In fact, I am so traumatized from watching just 10 minutes of this show, I decided to turn to a life of crime and
I’m working on my first “rap” album so I can rock the house in the old school way.
Since the “M & N” rapper is so popular, I decided to model myself after him by sniffing cans of paint ‘til
I float. I don’t think I can ever drink enough alcohol to make up the meaningless, emotional bags of garbage that
M & N comes up with, so I figure I better try something stronger.
Yup, paint and glue - that ought to kill enough of them brain cells.
Since all the kids these days, seem to like rappers that are named after candy I decided to name myself “Hershey
Squirt.” I think it sounds “catchy.”
I have to call Stephen…I need to find my “happy place.”
And now you know.
Coming Next: What was all that dance craze talk?
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