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Ask Bob a Question!
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 Before I get to questions, here's the low-down on our poor
little web site:
For those of you who don't know, we got kicked off-line from our old host Verica.com. The site will be back to
normal within a few days! Oh, by the way, our email forms started working again on Friday, so feel free to sent
us anything you want.
I got real mad when Verica kicked us off line and wrote a nasty complaint that you can read at ComplainToUs.org.
Since we are a forum for people who enjoy reading strange stuff, we don't censor other people's work or the commentaries…maybe
Verica had a problem with that. But then again…maybe Verica.com just sucks.
On to this weeks question!
Bel Garion from the Good ol' US of A asks:
Why is there a special law in Florida that prohibits unmarried
women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing?
Dear Bel:
The original actually included any woman, but has been modified since it was made back in the 16th Century. Although
airplanes hadn't been invented yet, the knowledge of parachutes had been well documented.
Only back then, they didn't know that a parachute would work for anybody. They were quite convinced that only witches
would float to the ground with one of these devices on, and as a result, must be beaten, tortured and burned at
the stake.
This punishment came out of trial and error. At first they burned, beat, and then tried to torture the witches,
but that didn't work too good because after the burning the guilty party would be all crispy and fragile and they
ended up smashing crunched-up ashes with sticks. Then the witch ashes would float around and get into peoples eyes
and make them sting. They didn't like that too much, so they changed the rotation.
The reasoning behind the law is explained in a diary, written by an unknown 15 year old Puritan. The diary is named,
"My colony - Myself."
She writes:
"…for some reason unknown, every so often, a mother or daughter of a colonist will bleed from an unmentionable
place, even though there is no evidence or indication that an injury had occurred. During this time, the victim
would become quite impossible to reason with as a madness takes over their minds.
This has happened twice in my village since my birth 15 years prior and on each occasion the affliction came on
the Lords Sabath. A town meeting was called on the second occasion and the town elders agreed that this is a curse
of the Almightly.
The reason was clear to all, they were being punished for partaking in the practice of WITCHCRAFT AND MUST BE PUT
TO DEATH IN THE MOST HORRIBLE FASHION IMMAGINABLE!
Since it is well know that witches are capable of flight both by broom and my the magical 'para-shute', the town
elders have decided that it shall be against the laws of God and Man for one of these witches to take flight by
either method on the Sabath. For if they did, they would surely spray the entire village with their curse and damn
us all to hell.
Amen."
The law has stood to this very day.
And now you know.
Coming Next: I invent
a new Dance Craze - Bandaloop!
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to "Ask Bob" another Stupid Question!
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