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Visit the Commentary Archives!
Ask Bob a Question!
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 First, I wanna mention that we got a new Games section! The Short Attention-Span Arcade has over 600 flash and java games available and many of them are as sick as the rest of
the site, so I know you'll like 'em.
For starters, try "Kick the Kitty!" It's a flash game. If you have a web site, you can put these games
on your site for free.
If you've tried to submit a Strange Story, then you found our email forms are not working. This will be fixed soon.
In the meantime, you can use webmaster@theweirdcrap.com to send a story.
While we are on the subject of email, the editor of TheWeirdcrap.com recently told me that 137 "Ask Bob"
questions have gone unanswered! I didn't believe him, so I took my feet out of the break room sink and tossed my
coffee in his face.
That'll learn him!
As it turned out I didn't have a cup of coffee in my hand. I had a box of "Juicy-Juice" and when I tried
to throw it in his face, I squeezed the box too hard and the juice squirted out of the straw and right into my
crotch.
I look down and see this red juice soaked around my privates, and I begin to panic because for a moment I think
that I'm peeing blood. I curl up in a ball, fall off the counter and scream, "You drove me to this! YOU DROVE
ME TO THIS!"
Then security gets involved and now I'm kept in a "Maximum Security Work Facility."
 "Maximum Security, my ass." It's a dirt hole in the basement. I have nothing but a typewriter
and spoon. I use the spoon to dig holes in the floor so that I have a place to dump my bloody pee. I still haven't
figured out what to do with the typewriter, because they never gave me any paper.
"Big Al," our security guard, lowers my meals to me in a basket tied to a rope. If there are any "Feds"
out there, please find the location of our evil secret headquarters...AND GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Here are some clues:
When I was being brought to my current location, I noticed it was cloudy.
At night I can hear tubas playing, so I'm quite sure I'm close to a "Tuba-Club." I know this isn't much
of a clue because Tallahassee is "The Tuba Capital of The World."
I can also hear a clock ticking - that should help.
But, enough about me, now I would like to answer all those questions! Due to the large amount of questions sent,
I decided to summarize.
Many people asked, "What about this." and "What about that."
To them I say, "First you need to set your priorities. If 'that' is more pressing than 'this' then take 'that'
then 'this.' Don't get distracted by 'these' and 'those' if you don't have 'this' and 'that' taken care of."
There, that should just about do it. I think that just about covers everything.
Coming Next: We finally
change history.
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